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| Man, this belly shit is starting to get WEIRD. |
There is exactly three months and ten days to go until my due date. That is some scary shit right there, seriously. It would be kind of an understatement to say that I am freaking the fuck out. I don't feel prepared at all. I know that everyone says that you can't ever be prepared, and things will just work because they have to, but that doesn't stop me feeling out of my depth right now. Rationally, I know that when the little dude gets here that things will be fine. I know that we'll learn, and we'll adapt, and this won't be anywhere near the last time that we feel out of our depth - but emotionally, I'm a little bit of a wreck. I'm trying to spend a bit of time every night not doing anything except relaxing & focusing on feeling the little guy move inside my belly. It calms me down, and helps get rid of the anxiety that builds up during the day. I like the feeling of just zoning out & being connected to our baby boy.
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| 25 weeks belly montage! |
Dear Bubba,
People will think I'm being dramatic when I say it, but I want you to know that making you is hard. It's exhausting, painful, infuriating at times, and the waiting seems to take forever. Bubba, it seems like everything has changed so much since you came along. I might even mourn a little bit for my waist, my ability to stay up late & make it through work the next day, my emotional stability, my ability to get out of chairs on my own, having nothing to make appointments for, and for my disposable income. I might be terrified of all the ways that my life is changing, and all the ways that it still has yet to change. I might hate feeling awkward, and encumbered, and stretched and sore all the time.
But I love you. And tonight, when your Daddy pressed his hand on my belly and you started kicking back - well that was one of the most magical moments of my life.
Hang tight in there,
Your Mama.
If you ever decide to shut down your blog (and I hope you don't), there's something you need to consider doing. There's companies online that will turn your blog into a book(s), depending on how many you want to order.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a shame to lose your letters to Bubba. You should totally consider the book thing for him, if you ever decide to shut down the blog. That way, when he's old enough, you can give him the book and nothing you've written would be lost. :) Way cooler than any ole baby book! :)
I've been thinking about doing this actually! I reckon that would be such a nice thing to give the little guy when he's older. And even if I keep on blogging forever, it would just be a nice book to have, you know? I think I'd have to make a copy for myself too, so I can try & remember this time properly!
DeleteI have to agree - you should gather all these letters together and read them to bubba when he's older :D
ReplyDelete